Insights from my speaker coaching sessions.
It’s hard to be my true self when I have to speak in front of larger groups and crowds, especially if i don’t know the people; I am very different and don’t think i need anything “fixed” when i am comfortable with my surroundings and people and smaller groups, but but when the audience is bigger, it feels so different. What advice can you give me?” my client asked me.
A bigger audience can lead to more stress, more nervousness, a louder inner critic, and result in less presence.
To answer this question, I chose the angle of shared responsibility.
Here’s an idea that will completely change the way you look at public speaking.
As speakers, we often shoulder the entire burden of a successful presentation or speech. Hello, overachieving perfectionists. We obsess over crafting the perfect message, honing our delivery, and engaging our audience. Oftentimes, we have a strong desire to be liked and a tendency to please. Hello, people-pleasers.
While preparation and skill are undoubtedly crucial, there’s a vital element that’s often overlooked: the responsibility of the audience.
This isn’t about getting yourself off the hook. But you don’t want to be leaking energy. This idea is about reclaiming your power as a speaker by recognizing that you are not solely responsible for the impact of your words.
Redefining Roles: Responsibility and Boundaries
Be realistic. You can’t control how your audience will react. But you have way more influence than you might suspect. During your preparation, gain clarity on your speaking objective. Before you even step on stage, take a moment to clarify your own role and responsibilities. This isn’t just about knowing your material; it’s about understanding the scope of your responsibility. Ask yourself:
– What is my core responsibility as a speaker? To show up prepared, deliver with clarity and enthusiasm. To be intentional about the energy I want bring in the room: Strong, grounded, powerful, warm, generous….
– What is not my responsibility? You are not responsible for being liked by every single member of the audience. Your are not responsible for every single member of the audience loving your speech.
The Audience’s responsability: Respect and Engagement
Just as you have a responsibility to deliver a valuable presentation, the audience also has a responsibility to be respectful and engaged. This isn’t about demanding blind obedience; it’s about recognizing the unspoken agreement that exists between speaker and listener. Here are some of the core responsibilities that the audience implicitly accepts:
Show Respect:
– Active Listening: Audiences are responsible for paying attention, focusing on the speaker’s message, and refraining from distractions (e.g., excessive phone use, side conversations).
– Courteous Behavior: Audiences should refrain from disruptive behavior, such as interrupting the speaker or making disrespectful comments.
– Open-Mindedness: Audiences should approach the speaker’s message with an open mind, even if they don’t agree with everything that is said.
Engage Constructively:
– Asking Thoughtful Questions: Audiences should ask questions that are relevant to the topic and contribute to the overall discussion.
– Providing Constructive Feedback: If appropriate, audiences should provide feedback that is helpful and respectful.
– Participating in Activities: Audiences should actively participate in any activities or exercises that the speaker facilitates.
Take Responsibility for Their Own Learning:
– Taking Notes: Audiences should take notes to help them remember key information.
– Reflecting on the Message: Audiences should take time to reflect on the speaker’s message and consider how it applies to their own lives.
– Taking Action: Audiences should take action based on what they’ve learned.
Reclaiming Your Power: Breaking Free from Victimhood
– Understanding the audience’s responsibilities is not about blaming them for a bad presentation. It’s about empowering yourself. When you recognize that you are not solely responsible for the outcome, you can:
– Reduce Anxiety: You’re no longer carrying the entire weight of the engagement on your shoulders.
– Increase Confidence: You can focus on delivering your message with passion and conviction, knowing that you’ve done your part.
– Stand in Your Power: You can assert your authority as a speaker and set clear expectations for audience behavior.
– Avoid Victimhood: You’re no longer at the receiving end of the audience’s emotions. You’re an active participant in a shared experience.
Setting Expectations: Creating a Positive Environment
While you can’t force your audience to behave in a certain way, you can set the tone for a positive and productive engagement.
Consider these strategies:
– Start with a Strong Opening: Capture the audience’s attention and set the stage for an engaging presentation.
– Establish Clear Expectations: Briefly outline what you expect from the audience (e.g., “I encourage you to ask questions,” “We’ll have a Q&A session at the end,” etc.).
– Create a Safe Space: Foster an environment where people feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas.
– Address Disruptive Behavior: If someone is being disruptive, address the behavior directly and respectfully.
By understanding the shared responsibilities in public speaking, you can create a safer, more positive and productive environment for both yourself and your audience. You can step onto the stage with confidence, knowing that you are not alone in the journey of communication. It’s shared experience, and a powerful opportunity for connection.