Keynote of missed impact and how to make sure it doesn’t happen to you
by Elizabeth Van Den Bergh
I recently attended an event with a keynote speech.
And the speaker is a celebrated entrepreneur, great!
There were some great one-liners, even greater!
Furthermore… many missed opportunities in the delivery of the keynote. So many people in the room, so many opportunities to blow people away.
And she could have easily done that with a strong intro, because that was missing.
Your opening words make or break your speech.
Your opening sets the tone.
And a strong opening makes heads turn and hearts skip a beat.
A strong opening is a fantastic win-win, because it gives you as a speaker tons of self-confidence to stand in full powerful presence when you head off in your story and immediately draw your audience along with you. And make no mistake, that’s what they want !
Of course I will tell you how to start strong:
Start, for example, with a strong statement. A little controversy can work well.
For example: “The question is not if you need speaker coaching, the question is when!”
Or open with a quote. I like to start with:
“There are only two kinds of speakers, those who lie and those who are nervous.”
OR
“You don’t have to be a good speaker to give a good speech.”
Dare to challenge the worldview of your audience. Start with a question that questions everything the audience thought they knew about a topic.
“Did you know…..?” questions.
OR
“Have you ever wondered whether A (what everyone thinks) or B (your controversial view)…… is more true?”
Dare to be surprising. Go straight to the heart of your audience, straight to their beliefs.
A strong start is half the battle of winning them over and this is certainly true when you are in front of a group!
Stick-your-hand up questions for ultimate engagement
I saw hesitantly and therefore without much effect a kind of ‘raise your hand if….’-question.
“If I asked Raise your hand if you agree that women do less business because they care more for the children you would do it.” Not much effect was generated.
You know these questions, and you often see others doing it. But would you do it yourself?
Please do because a raise your hand question is also a mega win-win. I explain. I love doing it.
I also call this audience qualification and collecting intelligence. So valuable for making your speech extra relevant and meaningful.
For the sake of convenience, I call it the hand question.
Suppose you are speaking to a group of entrepreneurs, mainly women, but also employed women.
Then you can ask questions like:
Who is an entrepreneur?
Who has been an entrepreneur for more than 10 years?
Who has been an entrepreneur for more than 5 years?
Who is really in the CEO chair?
Who has investors?
The hand question has two super valuable side effects.
As a speaker, you get a better idea of what kind of people you are dealing with. This increases your confidence. For example, you find out if there are any journalists in the room. Sometimes you want to know this. Or doctors. Or budding entrepreneurs. Why is this so important? The answers help you to bring your subject into their world.
And, you probably never thought of it before, such questions create a sense of comfort and security in the audience. If you are in an audience where you hardly know anyone, it is nice to know who is in the room and what those people are thinking. Is that important for you as a speaker? Hell yeah, the atmosphere in the room is important for the success of your speech.
The responses (in this case the number of hands that go up) give you the chance to react and to start a conversation. It increases the relevance of what you have to say.
Hand questions can also be used as a prelude to a sensitive topic.
Who is happy with the turnover of their company?
Who wants to earn more?
Who wants to double next year?
(From safe questions)
Who makes more than 100k?
Who makes more than 200k?
Who will turn over 500k?
(To daring questions)
If your first question to a cold audience is ‘Who converts 500k?’ You won’t get much response, by taking that lead you will get response or your bold question.
I recommend you experiment with this. It’s fun and super valuable.
A good anecdote can go viral
Plenty of anecdotes that had a lot of potential didn’t come to life.
Too bad, such a pity.
A good anecdote is short, relevant and has a clear clue.
With just enough words, well-placed pauses and lively intonation, you want to sketch a situation that arouses curiosity. And then to satisfy that curiosity. This way, the anecdote will stick better.
Example: the story of Zelda La Grange who met Nelson Mandela for the first time.
The magic of that meeting can only be contained if enough, but certainly not too many, leading elements are provided first.
“I was raised with the idea that Nelson Mandela was a terrorist, a dangerous man. Who came from a totally different world, a world that was literally invisible to me. Because of apartheid, we lived in separate worlds…. And white people simply had no idea about the lives of black people.
At work, when I unexpectedly saw an elegant, confident, cordial man in front of me, reaching out and looking right through me, I had no idea what was happening. In his eyes I saw kindness and humanity. My world stood still for a moment. None of what I had assumed to be true all my life was true anymore.”
That’s how you create edge-of-your-seat moments.
I’m talking about the cliffhangers, you know, the reason why you always skip to that next Netflix episode. So now you want to know what happens next after Zelda meets Nelson Mandela.
A strong final chord lingers on for a long time
No climax at the end. Rather, a feeling of “oh, is it done? Damn, what a missed opportunity.
You want to be clear from the start about the effect you want to achieve.
And you can be very explicit about that. Or just secretive. I advise you what is best for your talk when the time comes.
The best strategy for ending with a BANG is to plan your close before you plan the rest of your speech.
You then go back and design your opening so that it sets the stage for your conclusion.
An effect can be:
That your audience thinks ‘what she can do, I can do too!’
That your audience feels “Hell yeah, let’s do this!!!
I often give direction with: ‘If there is one thing I want you to get out of this talk, it’s …..’
This cue ensures that my audience is going to filter out all the info that reinforces my point and let it swell in their heads like a crescendo.
Your ending should always refer back to your intro. That’s how you complete the circle. Our brain loves this!
Your ending should elicit applause!!! Don’t settle for less.
A real pity, then, that keynote of missed opportunities.
For you I want your speech to be different: compelling, fiery, memorable. And that’s not even that hard.
Last modified 08/04/22
Get out of your head
by Elizabeth Van Den Bergh
I recently had a session with a client in which he was practicing his speech. The final delivery.
We had already worked hard on the story and on the content. In which, to my liking, the content tilted too often and too much toward information, interpretation and explanation.
And I kept wanting more story: the people in this story, who are they, what drives them, what are they going through. Why do I need to know?
At the previous practice session there was life, drive, presence. And was I along for the ride.
Not so in this practice session. I didn’t feel it.
I wrote down: ‘Allow the audience to enter the story.’ Way too much explanation. You don’t feel it.
Because: he was too much in his head.
He had felt it too. I see this with almost all of my clients.
Focus on: I can’t forget anything, tendency to explain a lot, broadly and deeply. Too distracted too.
Then you start speaking from thought and get stuck in your head, and your story is not going to have the impact it deserves.
What does work: daring to be fully present in the moment. Stepping inside of your story.
Daring to connect with your audience. Then you start attracting attention. You start inspiring, touching, influencing.
Then that magic is created. Then it becomes fun.
My client will be OK, it was a good thing for things to go south, in order to create clarity about the essence of things. To grab attention, to captivate and to engage.
Your speaking begins with you. Simple, but not easy.
Last modified 08/01/21
[The University Podcast] Aristide Giramahoro interviews Elizabeth on becoming a confident & impactful speaker
by Elizabeth Van Den Bergh
I met Daphne Wens, one of the initiators of the new podcast The University, through my online programme OutLoud. I was impressed by the quality of her podcast and was happy to be a guest and be interviewed by her colleague Aristide.
In this episode you will hear tips about speaking with impact, but also about ‘bragging better’. I also talk about managing a business with my husband while we run a household with two children. Really interesting, even if I say so myself 😊
If you want to discover some of my best public speaking tips and get to know me a bit better as a person – this is perfect!
Here are the main topics we’ve touched upon:
How I got started / 03:30
Being a freelancer vs being an entrepreneur / 09:00
Hit play below to listen, or look for the episode in your Spotify app. Enjoy!
Last modified 04/11/20
Speaking in online meetings: My 21 top tips for more impact
by Elizabeth Van Den Bergh
“Speaking on video is like speaking under a magnifying glass.” — Elizabeth
When the coronavirus came, online meetings became the new norm. As you’ll have experienced, speaking on video is a bit of a different game from speaking in a live environment.
Here are my tips for speaking well in online meetings. Apply these tips — or even just a few — and you’re sure to make a great impression on the others in your virtual room!
What makes an online meeting so different?
Because you’re physically separated from the other, you’ll need to compensate for this virtual distance. This means your full mental presence is required. If you are only half present, and your thoughts are somewhere else, this shows! If necessary, energise yourself before the webinar using the tips below.
Your body language is harder to perceive, so the effect of your voice is amplified. Use and apply articulation, intonation and rhythm for clear speech.
Practical speaking tips for online meetings
For sound quality, make sure to connect an external microphone to your laptop or tablet. This can be a simple set of ear- or headphones with microphone included. It doesn’t have to be expensive — just the fact that the microphone is close to your mouth does wonder for the sound quality.
Your dress code is a plain, possibly coloured shirt, dress or top. I would personally always have covered shoulders even if it’s a hot day.
The less distraction there is in the background the better. If available, sit in front of a white (or unicolour) wall.
Make sure your face is well lit. Daylight is best. Avoid backlight and, if possible, have light coming from both left and right so both sides of your face are lit.
Look into your webcam when speaking, especially when you start speaking and towards the end of your intervention. In the middle, you can alternate between looking at the screen, looking at other participants and looking above your screen when you collect your thoughts.
To make the previous point easier: make sure the webcam is comfortably at eye-height. This way you’ll look mich better on camera, too. Use a laptop standard if necessary. You can always stack a few books under your laptop.
Warm-up before your online meeting
Energise the body: Stretch and open the ribs. Bend knees. Bend to the right, hand on head. Bend to the left, hand on head.
Breathing – 3 times: Focus on a spot anywhere in the room. Open up your diaphragm. Take a deep breath in through your nose and breathe out through the mouth to the count of 6, 8, 10.
Projection: Stretch your throat. Yawn. Stretch. Sing notes from high to low across the room
Practice tongue twisters for better articulation.
Unique New York, Unique New York
Sally sells sea shells on the seashore
I’d like a proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot
Tips on how to get the most out of your voice
Open wide: A lot of voice problems stem from constricting your throat or closing your jaw. Stack two fingers, place them between your teeth and count to ten. Remove your fingers and count to ten again. With your mouth more open, your voice should sound more energised.
Relax: Yawning can release upper body tension and so allow the larynx to find its neutral position and a comfortable pitch for your voice.
Check your endings: Nerves can make your voice lose volume or variety as you speak. Try to finish sentences with as much vocal energy as you started with, and to end assertively.
Pace yourself: You’ll sound more in control and be less likely to mumble, swallow words or run out of breath.
Pause: Think of pauses as verbal punctuation. One beat is a comma; two, a full stop; three, a paragraph break.
Get to the point: Cut filler words (like, sort of).
Breathe: Remember, breath is fuel for the voice.
Mind your articulation
Lips: Babababababa all over the room; now papapapapa
Roll Rs
Tip of tongue: dadadadadada, tatatatata, nananananan
Back of tongue: gagagagagagagagagaga, kakakakakakakaka
Now, TIC TOC TIC TAC TIC TOC TIC TAC
Use plenty of emphasis. iMAgine an AUdience anAlysis proves our inNOvative inSUrance company DEcades of sucCEss.
What tip have you found especially effective? Maybe you have one to add? Let us know in the comments.
Last modified 04/11/20
My Manifesto for Public Speaking
by Elizabeth Van Den Bergh
Over the past years, I’ve coached hundreds of people to become better at public speaking.
Recently I decided to sit down and look for patterns among my ‘best’ clients, meaning those clients where the collaboration felt especially successful.
Something in my approach to teaching public speaking attracted them, and made them decide to work with me and not another coach.
I think it boils down to two things: shared values and a shared definition of great public speaking.
Combined, these define the destination of our collaboration: to become a better speaker of a certain kind.
But what kind?
The following eight shared values for public speaking percolated after much thinking, free writing and re-writing.
I consider them the eight essential habits for a great speaker. I first introduced these in one of the 10 Noonshine online sessions I gave during the 2020 corona crisis.
Here is the live drawing that Joyce Van Kerckhove of Inkorporate.me kindly made during the session (click to view):
Are you ready?
In my experience, an effective speaker:
1. Speaks well to lead well
You realise that speaking to an audience automatically puts you into a leadership role.
You realise that this role comes with responsibility. Your audience is looking to you for a vision, for answers.
You therefore are aware of who you are, and what values you want to convey to your audience.
2. Shares an inspiring vision
You know that with leadership also comes an inspiring vision for the future.
Your vision is inspiring in the sense that it speaks to both the head and the heart, and moves people to take action.
You speak to your audience’s dreams.
You paint a picture not only of ‘what is’ but also of ‘what could be’.
3. Seeks positive impact
Your intention is to make the world a better place through the work and the speaking you do.
Whether your focus is climate change, female empowerment, making the world better through artificial intelligence… There are many ways.
You distinguish:
the output of your speaking — the words you say
the outcome — how you change and inspire your audience
and the impact — the actions they then take to make a difference in their world.
You focus on maximising the latter.
4. Starts with their ‘why’
You have a clear intention and focus for every speech or performance you give. ‘Purpose’ is now more important than ever.
You prepare asking yourself what your audience should know, feel and do after listening to you.
5. Cares for their audience
You know your audience and can step into their minds and hearts. You assess what they know about your topic and what views they may hold. You view that as the starting point for the journey you will take together by telling your story.
You realise that knowing an audience is the key to winning their attention.
6. Is memorable
You focus on creating a lasting impact with your speech.
You do this by 1) determining your single most important message, 2) carefully adding memorable elements and stories to your speech, and 3) being your memorable self!
7. Builds confidence by taking action every day
You realise that you need to speak with confidence to inspire and make impact.
You also realise that this confidence won’t come suddenly and is not given to you.
You therefore build this confidence by getting your mindset right and by challenging yourself every day.
8. Brings their personality on stage
You know what’s the secret weapon of a brilliant speech: you.
You realise that the personality of a speaker is what makes a speech truly captivating and memorable.
You therefore do not hide your personality on stage, but show who you are through what you say and how you say it.
That’s it!
What do you think? Anything you would add? Let me know in a comment.
Last modified 06/11/20
Speaking with impact: a guide about stage presence
by Elizabeth Van Den Bergh
When it comes to speaking with impact, I usually show one of my favourite TED(x) talks. It’s one that you can view again and again.
The crazy thing is: absolutely nothing is said in it.
Play it for a minute; it only last six minutes:
The title of this talk is How to sound smart in your TED talk. But the title could just as well be How to engage an audience when you have nothing to say. Because that’s the fascinating thing about this video: this Will Stephen says absolutely nothing, and yet you can’t take his eye off him for six minutes.
How is that possible?
Why is it that you take great pleasure in listening to ‘nothing’, and at the same time have dozed away at a lecture that had content that was actually interesting? (Most people only have to think back to their school days to remember those.)
stage presence, or: how you appear on stage, the way you bring your story.
Why is stage presence so crucial for speaking with impact?
There is interesting research on this by Dr Albert Mehrabian1, Professor Emeritus at UCLA (University of California). He did several studies on verbal and non-verbal communication.
Mehrabian concluded that there are three elements of face-to-face communication:
Words
tone of voice
non-verbal behaviour (such as body language)
He makes the following point. How communication ‘lands’ with an audience depends much more on elements 2 and 3 — tone of voice and non-verbal signals — than element 1, the words themselves.
It’s easy to verify for yourself that there’s some truth to that. Think of a “bad liar” you know. Their words make no impression because their body, facial expression and voice betray them.
Mehrabian goes so far as to claim that words only make up 7% of your communication. I personally think that’s an exaggeration. But other studies, such as one by Allen and Barbara Pease2, show that 60 to 80% of the impact in meetings is caused by body language. And that’s my experience, too.
How do you get stage presence?
Some people are naturals. Others, not so much.
The good news is: stage presence can be developed and cultivated. Something I’d certainly recommend, looking at why public speaking is so important.
The first step is to know which factors determine your stage presence.
The elements that determine your stage presence (and whether you’re speaking with impact)
For this list, I’m assuming that you have a healthy amount of self-confidence. Because if you are very insecure when speaking in front groups, of course, that undermines your entire stage presence. In that case, you’d better work on boosting your self-confidence first.
I’m also assuming that you have properly prepared your speech. If you don’t have a clear idea of the story you want to tell, that will also come at the expense of your stage presence.
What exactly is stage presence? At its core, it’s your energy.
Energy is an emotional thing. People can emit ‘high energy’ or ‘low energy’. And energy influences other people.
You experience other people’s energy every day:
The receptionist who always greets you with a big smile so that you’re in a great mood when you take the elevator: high energy.
The guy in the sandwich bar who always frowns and where you go only when you really have to: low energy.
You could think that people’s energies are fixed. Fortunately, they’re not! Your energy varies throughout the day:
Coffee can boost your energy.
But when you’re tired, that affects your energy negatively.
You win a game with your team at the sports club. There’s no limit to your energy!
A new customer postpones collaboration. Bummer: your energy plummets.
When you speak in front of groups, you start with a certain energy level. Hopefully, a high level!
After that, there are always several possible energy leaks:
That one lady with no facial expression, who seems to be here against her will.
That guy in the corner is fiddling with his phone — maybe he’s bored?
And then there’s the person who asks a tricky question that you don’t know the answer to right away.
Those energy leaks hinder you from speaking with impact. Because here it comes:
Your energy is the single determining factor in the impact you make
There is research on that, by the way. Olivier Oullier, professor of behavioural and brain sciences at the University of Aix-Marseille, calls this social coordination dynamics3.
In his studies, people facing each other had to make random movements.
First, with their eyes closed — of course, little similarities in movement could be found. Then, with their eyes open. As it turned out, people started to mimic each other’s movements. Even after the experiment, the subjects remained influenced by the movements made by the other person.
Have you ever seen someone yawn, only to do it yourself shortly after? That is the same principle at work.
Back to your energy when you speak
Your energy determines the energy of your audience, which determines how well they listen, how inspired they become, how excited they become, and so on.
Body language expert Vanessa van Edwards proved that in another experiment. She analysed a large amount of similar TED talks to discover why some talks were hugely popular, while others were viewed just a few hundred times in total.
Her conclusion: people created their opinion about a speaker within seven seconds, and that opinion was the most positive for speakers who radiated the most energy.
Another striking conclusion was this: when people rated a talk highly with the sound off, it was also rated highly with the sound on.
So it is essential to manage your energy and keep it high
How high? Higher than you think 😁. Think of the first date with your dream partner.
Note: don’t confuse ‘high energy’ with ‘hyper’. High energy can also mean relaxed, comfortable, content, self-confident.
The good news is: you have a lot of control over your energy. Are you aware of your energy? Then you can ‘turn it up’ as you please to start speaking with impact.
It doesn’t take magical thinking at all. We may think that for the most, our mind controls our bodies, but the opposite is also true. What you do with your body also influences your mind and therefore your energy.
A classic example are power poses: for example, if you stand upright, with your legs slightly apart, and your hands in your hips, you can feel your energy level rise with every minute.
The following five non-verbal areas play the biggest role when it comes to speaking with impact:
1. Your posture
Your body communicates much more than you would suspect. Which makes sense: we are descended from apes that cannot speak (neither could homo sapiens in their first phase of evolution), and yet they could communicate efficiently.
Here are a few ways your body ‘reveals’ you, and where you can make adjustments for higher energy levels:
Of course, your head sends signals non-stop. From how your hair is styled, to ‘micro-expressions’ that subconsciously tell your audience about your mood.
Your torso (back) can be straight or a little bent, which communicates different things.
Arms and hands tell many things too! Think of the difference between a dry presenter with hands in his pockets, and someone who gestures lively as they tell their story.
How you position your legs, is a way of communicating as well. Do you walk calmly across the stage, or rather in a cramped fashion? When you sit down, do you cross your legs or not?
Finally, there are your feet. They can be positioned at different angles. And everyone knows about the tapping foot, which suggests nervousness.
This is just a concise list — there are, of course, dozens of other ways your body communicates with your audience.
What are things not to do when it comes to posture?
Leaning on one leg. Maybe you think this gives a laid-back impression, but in reality, it looks over-casual.
Standing with crossed legs. This gives you the impression that you want to make yourself smaller.
Tilting your head to one side. This can look either apologetic or condescending.
Standing behind a pulpit. This puts something between you and your audience, and sends the signal: “I don’t like speaking in front of groups.”
Keeping your hands behind your back or in your pockets for a long time, keeping your hands ‘busy’ with a pen for example, or putting your hands in your side for a long time.
What are things to do when it comes to posture?
Place your feet right under your hips, and let them point slightly outwards.
Divide your weight evenly between your legs.
Make sure your chest is ‘open’ and not ‘closed’.
Imagine that there is a wire attached to the crown of your head and that it pulls your body up.
Keep your hands moving. Use them to illustrate what you’re saying. Don’t let your upper arms stick to your body like a T-rex 🦖 but relax them!
Note when it comes to your hands: most people use their hands very well in comfortable situations, for example at a dinner party with friends. Chances are, you do know how to do it — you just have to recreate the unconsciously correct use of your hands!
2. Your gestures
Gestures are the most expressive element of our body language. They are the more explicit movements of the head, shoulders, arms, the hands.
Gestures have a clear function within speaking with impact:
Express physical properties, location or movement. Think of size, weight, shape, direction and location.
Express importance or urgency. For example, a clenched fist shows that you want to add emphasis.
Comparison and contrast. By visualising these with gestures, they come to life. For example, you could perfectly imitate the receptionist and the sandwich seller from the introduction.
Do you experience a moment of ‘low energy’? Then a few powerful gestures will get you back on top.
Pay attention to the following to make your gestures effective, both for your audience and for yourself:
Make gestures above elbow height and at some distance from your body. So no cramped gestures.
Put strength and conviction in your gestures. A fast, spacious hand movement to show how big something is, makes a much greater impression than a half-baked, uncertain movement.
Make sure to have variety in your gestures. They are quickly perceived as repetitive.
3. Your facial expression
Your face communicates a lot about what you think and feel. This happens through your eyes, your eye movements, eyebrows, mouth, … Anthropologist Ray Birdwhistell estimates that we humans can distinguish as many as 250,000 facial expressions!
The biggest ‘danger’ is that emotions or thoughts inside you ‘leak’ outside through your facial expressions. If they’re not consistent with what you’re saying, you’re missing impact on your audience.
For example, many novice speakers suffer from small tics in their faces, because they are nervous. I don’t have to tell you that’s a great distraction from what they’re actually saying.
Some important tips on facial expression:
Think of your face as an extra gesturing tool: emphasise your story with the appropriate expressions.
Film yourself to control your facial expressions. Unlike your body and your hands, you can’t see your own face under normal circumstances.
Don’t be afraid to exaggerate. Go to a theatre performance. There especially, actors are often very expressive with their faces. That adds dynamism (and therefore energy).
Make funny faces when you ‘warm up’ for your performance. That is often relaxing.
4. Your voice
If you listen to the radio or a podcast every once in a while, you know how much character is found in a voice alone. You don’t see who’s talking, but you still take away much of who someone is, or how they feel at that moment.
Your voice is like a musical instrument, and there are countless ways in which it ‘communicates’:
It can sound high or low
It can be loud or soft
You can speak fast or slowly
There’s dynamic: how much do you switch between high and low, loud and quiet, fast and slow?
How many pauses do you take?
Your language: do you speak general English (or your local language) — possibly with a light accent — or do you speak dialect?
How do you use your voice for speaking with impact?
Double your voice volume. Yes, this sounds excessive. You probably think you’re going to shout. Still, I challenge you to try it. If you record yourself, you’ll see that you simply sound much more powerful. Note: Make sure you use your voice properly. Focus on sound, not pressure. When speaking makes you tired, there is something wrong with your technique. It’s best to visit a voice coach in that case.
Emphasise your voice. In a business context, many people think they have to speak monotonously. There’s no need at all. Emphasise important words and passages. This has two advantages: you speak slower and your ‘connect’ better with the content of your speech.
Pause often. Everyone knows someone whose mouth never seems to stand still. Or — the equivalent in text — someone who puts dozens of lines of text in their emails without ever pressing the Return key. That’s annoying, plus it prevents the message from ‘landing’. Pausing allows you to think for a moment, it allows your audience to think, process their thoughts and nod, and it gives you a more powerful impression.
5. Eye contact
A notorious energy leak is the lack of real contact between you and your audience. You’ll feel a sense of isolation, of being alone, of ‘you against them’.
Creating contact with your audience prevents that from happening. How do you do that? With eye contact.
The principle is simple
Look people in the eye individually, one by one. Connect directly with each of them. When it gets uncomfortable, move on to the next one.
It’s a bit like watering the plants. Instead of spraying all your garden at once, you give each plant water and then continue to the next one.
Sounds uncomfortable? Try it out. For most speakers, this technique has a reassuring effect. Instead of speaking to a large group, you speak to one person at a time. Exactly what you’re used to doing in the rest of your life 😉
What tip for speaking with impact are you going to put in practice for your next speaking assignment? Let us know in a comment.
